There's something about life and relationships that terrifies me. I don't know what it is, but I need to admit to myself first and foremost that I'm terrified. It might be the fact that I've always wanted to stand out, to matter, I suppose, and if I were like everyone else I'd be irrelevant. Which is really funny because I've wanted to be irrelevant for so long, because I didn't want my family to be hurt when I finally died, or killed myself. I don't why but I feel like crap today.
Everyone says you don't know what you have until it's gone. But no one ever says you don't know how bad you have it until you see something better. This past weekend I went to a conference, and I literally had the time of my life. It was amazing, concerts and comedy shows pretty much all day, it was amazing. It made me realize that this place isn't as perfect as I think it is.
I'll be up all night doing homework, and drowning myself in my sorrows, and then I'll wake up and it'll be a better day, or maybe in a week it'll be a better week... or someday it will be. All I know is that dying isn't the best thing for me anymore, I mean why rush to hell right?
Everyone says you don't know what you have until it's gone. But no one ever says you don't know how bad you have it until you see something better. This past weekend I went to a conference, and I literally had the time of my life. It was amazing, concerts and comedy shows pretty much all day, it was amazing. It made me realize that this place isn't as perfect as I think it is.
I'll be up all night doing homework, and drowning myself in my sorrows, and then I'll wake up and it'll be a better day, or maybe in a week it'll be a better week... or someday it will be. All I know is that dying isn't the best thing for me anymore, I mean why rush to hell right?
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