The Power of Acknowledgement

 

A while back I wrote about suffering alone and how it makes everything worse because it means you’re on your own, and no one should go through mental health illnesses alone. I shared my experience with this, and how it made things worse, until I was able to pull myself through it which just made things worse later on. You can read more about it here.

I’m bringing this up because my mom finally realized just how bad it was for me. She was telling me how our neighbor’s daughter-in-law was becoming like me and wanting to die. I asked if she has kids, my mom said two and the thirds on the way. I asked if it started after one of the births, and after some thought she said you’re right it started after the second baby. I asked if it became worse with the new baby on the way and she said yes. I kept asking more about symptoms and it became very clear that she’s suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or Postpartum depression, or a combination of both. I told my mom this and told her to tell them she needs psychological help and needs to talk to someone otherwise it will most likely get worse without help. In the end she understood it’s a disease and not something she can control (though her husband apparently wanted to get her an exorcist?!).

Then she asked me if I was going through the same thing back when I lived here a few years ago, and I obviously said duh and she asked why I never told her. I reminded her that I told her and my dad multiple times that I want/will kill myself. In then end she apologized telling me they didn’t know better at the time, and that they should’ve gotten me help. The acknowledgement, though a few years too late, still made me feel so much better. Not only because I was right as always and they were wrong, but because it was almost like a promise that if I or one of my sisters ever need help again they might help this time. I doubt that they will, but it still feels nice to have the illusion that someone is there for you.